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Marriage in the age of COVID19

The demands of COVID19 are unique and completely unheard of in our lifetime.  Quarantine?  Masks? 6 feet apart?  Temperature taking before you can enter a school?  Dining outside only?   And that is just a small part of the list of life changes foisted on us by this virus.  We are captives in our own homes.  What does it mean

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Co-Parenting: Opportunity or Nightmare

When you were married, one of you was probably more involved in the process of parenting than the other.  Now that you are divorced, neither of you have a backup.  You are in this “parenting” thing on your own.  Even when you remarry, you may find that your new mate Is not all that excited about the parenting thing and

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COVID19

Challenged to reflect. Open to change. Vulnerable to all around me. Invested in thriving and not just surviving. Determined to grow. 19 ideas for a very hard time. 1.  One of the first things I have heard from friends a relatives is that after the shock of hearing about a pandemic, they looked around their place and started to do

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Autism in Girls

I have recently been working with clients who are asking questions about Autism in girls.  While girls have always comprised a smaller percentage of this population than boys, I am wondering if the recent Pandemic of COVID19 is helping us to notice this process of interaction in girls.  Families are spending much more time together which naturally leads to more

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Do Infants Understand Emotion?

From the moment of birth the infant’s brain is fully capable of processing emotion and this skill enables them to respond to all of the experiences in their environment.  Infants cry as they come into the world because they are aware of the change from the protective nest of the womb to the unfamiliar open-air vastness of the world outside

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Autism and Male Sperm

Jeremy Silverman, M.D. interviewed on NPR re: his recent studies on AUTISM Mt. Sinai School of Medicine: He has been studying the effect of the age of the father at conception on the incidence of autism. He used the Israeli data base (every person in Israel has to serve in the military so the intake process makes for a huge

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Divorce: Destruction versus Transformation

“The Ring of Fire” is one of Johnny Cash’s best known songs and while he was singing about falling in love, he could have just as easily been describing the experience of a litigated divorce. Litigation is a lethal force like a wild fire that consumes everything in its path: money, time, relationships, personality, children, friends, etc. A litigated divorce

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Co-Parenting: Can It Be Done?

When Mom and Dad divorce, the children frequently lose their parents in important ways. In the course of the divorce, the parents have frequently destroyed any good will that may have existed between them and they are now faced with moving into a world complicated by two households, confusing schedules, difficult communication and varying agendas. The idea of saying “No”

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BRAIN WIRING AND MEDIATION

Keys to Successful Mediation: Understanding Brain Wiring and the Complex Listening Dynamic by Ellen Kandell, Gloria Vanderhorst Supporting Effective Agreement Click Here to Print This Close window Mediators know all too well that their clients can take positional stances that are hostile and effectively block the creative thinking necessary to reach an equitable settlement. Positional stances taken by clients and

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Author

Dr. Vanderhorst

Dr. Gloria K. Vanderhorst

My work with others has taught me that change is possible at any age. In my early work with children, I learned that our brains are creative as well as vast store houses of early experiences.